1. Don’t be afraid to show some skin. No matter how awful you think you look now, you will wonder why you were so hard on yourself when you’re 80 years old. Break out the bikini. Tan that tummy. Sun that cellulite. Be proud and bare it all!
2. Don’t forget the sunblock. Wear waterproof and reapply ever hour. Remember to dab some on your ears. Ten years from now our skin will thank you for it.
3. Don’t dehydrate. Drink lots of water, especially when you’re doing any sort of physical activity in the hot summer sun. You should rehydrate even when you splashing around in the water. And just to be clear, no matter how refreshing they may seem in the sun, beer and other alcoholic beverages do not help you rehydrate from the heat.
4. Don’t combine beer with mixed drinks. Margaritas and beer don’t mix. No matter how tempting an ice cold margarita seems after a few brewskies, don’t do it unless you want to be dancing on the table before the end of the evening.
5. Don’t check the forecast. It’s summer. No matter what it will be hot as balls with chance of humidity.
6. Don’t be a raccoon. If you’re going to wear make-up to the pool, invest in some waterproof mascara to avoid looking like you’ve got two black eyes.
7. Don’t forget to trim the hedge. Snip it. Wax it. Weedwack it. Do whatever ever necessary to groom your bloom.
8. Don’t leave any loose ends. Tuck those tampons strings. Check your girlfriends too, because friends don’t leave friends hanging.
9. Don’t let your toes look gnarly. During sandal and flip-flop season, pretty piggies are a must. Trim them. Polish them. Pamper those piggies!